He's changed. SB. I might even have to call him B for now.
Yes, you might say I'm stupid.
You could even call me crazy.
And, you might be right.
All I know is how I feel.
And I feel strongly for him.
I've tried to ignore it, I can't.
I've tried to change it, I can't.
I've tried to run, I didn't get far.
It's over with her. He could be lying.
He asked me to come over and wanted me to read something he'd written. It was about me. How he felt about me. How he was wrong to do what he did. How I have turned his life upside down. How I have changed him. How what he wants has been right in front of him. That would be ... me.
He said he doesn't think he could live without me.
I suppose I should have said, "Well, that's nice. But it's too late." And then walked out.
Perhaps one day I'll wish I would have. See, there is still an "issue". No, we're not together. Not yet.
I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if one day I'll cut and run and LSHMama thinks I should. And, the day might come when I say to many of you, "go ahead, say it ... you told me so"
But for now, I'm going blindly and perhaps stupidly on faith.
It's been a crazy, wonderful last few weeks. He's as sweet as sweet can be. Calling. Texting. E-mailing. Hanging out. I know he's trying. I think he's sincere. He's even gone as far as calling our mutual friend and letting her in on what's been going on. He likes to talk about us being together (yes, we're not). I don't initiate any of this hypothetical mumbo jumbo. But, I can't say that all of it doesn't make me smile like a lunatic.
Truth be told, my friends, I'm scared to death. I don't know what will happen so again, I'm leaning on faith. I don't want to think about the apparent inevitable that my friends keep talking about ... that he'll be a jerk and screw me over. Right now, I'm just hopeful. Hopeful, yes, that this works out, but hopeful that I'll be alright no matter what.
But yeah, the way this is going right now, I'd be okay if it works. Definitely.
Am I crazy?
What's a girl gotta do? Tell me.
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16 comments:
Girl, you're CRAAAZY!
Not only are you going to get burned, but the way he acts implies to me that he has a small . . . um . . . member. And you definitely don't want that.
I heart ya, that's why I keep telling you "no!" It's because I can see the train about to derail!!!!
So much hostility from misty!
Woah, there, sistah. Have a cold one and caaaalm down!
Hehe - I still stand by what I said. Being a friend (for me) doesn't have to mean that you watch train wrecks without comment! Whatever happens, I can still express my opinion on it. Though I guess Misty thinks otherwise!
Are you crazy? Nope. Not even a little bit. My question is... Are you HAPPY? Because if you are then I'm happy for you.
I know how hard it is to walk away before you're ready. Just know that if that day should come, you'll have people walking beside you. In the meantime... I'm still rooting for ya :-)
Yo ladies! I love you to bits for your concern and I sincerely appreciate your advice ... I'm listening to what ya'll have to say - the joy of this is that you are different from me, have experiences separate from mine - let's make this a good place - sometimes, it's the only sanity I have.
Love you all.
It's such a tough situation, because you know it's bad, but of course you're going to go for it anyway. I've been through exactly the same thing. You may end up with your heart broken, but at least you'll know for sure whether it would work or not.
be happy but be careful!
This sounds so much like what I've been through with some men. I see the warning signs. Definitely be careful...
I love 'law student hot mama's blunt honesty. Relationships are all learning experiences so no matter what any of us say you're going to do what your heart tells you. I just hope you listen and take it all in. Then make your decision.
Hmmm...what did I miss here? Clearly, you got some major love from your bloggy buddies. The passion they have for this situation is down right AWESOME.
Here's my input. "SB? Maybe not so S anymore . . . " Whateve . . . I hear stupidity comes and goes (and comes again . . . ). Time will tell.
Long time no hear.
But wow... this is really intense.
I have to admit I sympathize with him. Situations like that can change a person; it happens. I'm one of those guys.
Just go with your gut.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the nice comment!
Well on to you blog... I guess I stopped by on a energetic kind of day. While I am not really sure what's going on, my well wishes go out to you. I hope you have the faith to do what's right for you - take care of yourself.
Well, I can't tell you not to do it, because I have been there myself and done it. My situation didn't turn out well (at the time) but I learned valuable lessons regardless and I wouldn't change a thing. Yes, you could get your heart broken, but you could also always wonder what might have been. I guess slow and steady is the best advice. Guard yourself. Don't make any sudden moves (haha! that sounded funny).
If he is in it for the long-haul like he says he is, he will be wise to wait as long as it takes for you to trust him.
But know that someone that is capable of saying and doing the things he did to you in the past does not just change overnight.
Good luck, and be careful. :)
Hi, friend. I hope you don't think I'm heartless and totally compassionless after my comments (or non-comments) regarding the boy situation this evening. I've expressed my skepticism and concern for your wellbeing. But, that being said, you're your own woman. You do what YOU want to do. If you're happy and safe, I'm happy for you. If you're not happy or you're not safe, I'm here to make sure you get that way, OK? Love you!
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