His Words

There's a part of me that thinks it's completely evil to share this with you, since it's stuff he's written for my eyes but now it's mine and it belongs to me so sharing is what I choose to do. And perhaps I just want you to see firsthand what it is I'm dealing with.

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Last night around 11:30ish I got a text that said, "Hey! I’ll hit you up tomorrow. We are having our first sleepover. Is that TMI?”

I didn't respond.

Then, this morning I read this e-mail he had sent about an hour before the text (the subject was "random thoughts")

-I like girls who like me back. No point fighting the others too hard J Been there, done that, time has passed. I got extremely “lucky” this time. Also, surprised I haven’t screwed this up yet even though I caused sour note over the weekend. I’m very surprised I haven’t disappeared into the awesomeness of our little universe and that I still have kept in touch with everyone else.
-I had a party at my house Sunday and didn’t care that they turned my downstairs into a pig pen. And I got pissed that ½ the people who said they would be there didn’t show up (the golden rule?) But then some unexpected people showed up and filled out the original quota even though I didn’t get the caterer like I had planned. (NOTE: I wasn't invited)
-I think I can learn more about a person by sleeping beside them than in hours of conversation. And some people just fit together like a puzzle and it’s for good reason
-I’m afraid of you when you don’t talk or hold things back. But oddly intrigued by it and wondering what is in that head of yours.
-I think I would take back my “never going on a vacation with you” statement from a few months ago on one or two conditions of a not to be spoken nature. I think we would have fun and we obviously wouldn’t lack for conversation. Until you pissed me off or vice versa. I am really happy we seem to have found our friendship groove however and you have stopped calling me “Friend” in that stupid, silly way that you do J
-I am curious what your statement “I find a lot of things about you endearing, yada, yada, things you like least about yourself” relates to.
-I hope you know I find you insanely fascinating. Your facebook story about the list of things you said you wanted to do in the past year sooo made me want to read it. And if not for Julie, I would have totally been your Valentine if for no other reason than just to be nice and help you cross something off your list.

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What's a girl to do? I sure like what law student hot mama said in my last post.

I have major love for you girls!

The games we play

So, over the weekend I went out with a "friend" Without getting into the whole history right now, let's just say he is not just a friend. He should be more, he could be more, he would be more but he just isn't. It's friends we are. Ugh.

Anyway, we had Friday off so we decided to go out in the middle of the day. I knew he had some kind of plans for the evening but he wouldn't say what they were. I'm a smart girl so let's be honest, he didn't need to. But anyway, he chose to be mysterious. Fine. Go ahead. Little does he know that he's about as mysterious as a tween girl's obsession with High School Musical.

Moving on.

We met at his place. Before you get any ideas, friends, I was there for all of 15 minutes. Someone please tell me why he had his "evening" clothes laying on the chair in the LIVING ROOM!?!? I hate games. I don't know what he was trying to prove. I got it, you have a hot date after our "friend time". Whatever. I'm a girl. An emotional one at that. And, like I said, I hate games. But my initial reaction was, thankfully, held at bay. I wanted to go biserck and use all sorts of colorful language about how he was such an ass. Instead, I said, "ooo, going somewhere fancy?" and when he didn't respond I just laughed to myself, yet loud enough for him to hear, and told him I liked his choice of clothes.

We went out. We had a decent time. It was far different from out last get together but fun nonethless. At least I thought. He continued this supposed mystery and before I left, you know, so he could get ready for his big event I said, "Just be sure to be cute and charming" smiled, more like smirked, and walked right out.

I guess I have no choice but to play along.

Stupid games. Stupid boy.

Why do you play? Do you always have to? I don't think I'll ever quite get it. But what's my option ... either I'm in or he's going out to find a new scrabble partner. For now, it works. But I tell you, friends, there will come a day when it isn't worth it. The game will be over even though there may be turns left. You definitely can't give it everything you have because then you have nothing left.
And you sure as hell don't want to lose.