Almost ...

"He loved her for

almost everything she was

& she decided that was enough

to let him stay

for a very long time."

*

I used to love this quote. I remember when I first saw it. As I stood in the basement of a friend's home, the quote motioned me over, enticing me with its whimsical, yet mass produced painting, and made me read it.

*

I believed it like it was straight from the lips of God. I suppose I needed that quote. Whether it was in that moment or the months to come, that quote reminded me that being almost loved would be okay. I even proudly placed it in my "favorite quote" section on facebook. Proudly. As if one day, my daughter could come home and tell me "mama, there's this boy that almost loves me. isn't that wonderful?" And then I should beam happiness back at her sweet face.

*

Things have changed.

*

Maybe I read those words differently but I don't think that almost is enough anymore. Perhaps it's because I am close to finally believing that someone loves me for everything I am - angry, crazy, fat, beautiful, frustrating, emotional, baggage filled, money owed self.

*

I hope that one day I can fully believe him, too. Either way, the quote's no longer a favorite. I deserve better. So does my daughter.