Monday, May 19, 2008

About a Boy

... the boy.
So, things are going well. Really well. Scary well. But it's definitely the "I don't want this to end" well.
I'm not a day by day kind of person but I'm trying my darnedest to be these days because I don't want to freak out like I so notoriously can and have before. I haven't said much of anything about him, maybe it's because I've shared the bad, the hurt, the pain and I know that he probably doesn't (and shouldn't) look so good in my friends' eyes.
I haven't forgotten what's happened, as I know I've mentioned before, but the guy this guy ... he makes me only want to live the present and hope for the future. He makes it easy to let go of, or at least push far away the oh-so-ugly. Not just between me and him, either, which might be the best part, but stuff that happened long before he was even around.
I'm doped up on happy ... not too much that I've detached myself from reality but just enough that it feels good. And right. He once said something about some Dr. Seuss quote that said, "you know you're in love when your reality is finally better than your dreams" or something like that ... well, dare I say it, I'm in love with my reality. Well, the love part of it. Certain parts need some work (and rest assured big sis, I'm working on them).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not lost in the dream world, nor am I masking it with pretty colors. He still drives me crazy and annoys me. I do the same to him. But he's also sweet as sweet can be and completely fighting the fact that he's totally whipped.
I was gone three weekends in a row, then he was gone the next three. I got texts that said I miss you. I got phone calls in the midst of his busy weekend because he just wants to hear my voice. I got a keychain from his one day trip to NC.
Oh, and you'll love this. For my birthday, he surprised me while I was trying to teach Romeo and Juliet to my precious freshmen! (The Balcony Scene nonetheless!). He brought cupcakes, a balloon, an incredibly sweet card and a tiara.
I turned red - I had lobsters beat.
Then, I left for NYC and when he picked me up on Sunday ... he had flowers and a whole evening planned.
Oh, and have I mentioned? He's an incredible kisser.
Have you ever heard the song, "Realize" by Colbie Calliet? He told me I had to listen to it because it was so perfect ...
And here's something he said about a month ago: "I wish I had a time machine ... I'm glad I saw the real you before it was too late for me..."
Okay, I feel like I'm getting kinda sappy which looks good on no one :) I'll keep you up to date and you can feel free to ask any questions. I'm sure there might even be days I need advice since this is so new for me. I just hope it continues because it's sorta, kinda, pretty much exactly what I hoped this feeling would be like (well, without that initial drama, of course!!)

Friday, May 16, 2008

I need coke ...

Has it really, truly been over two weeks and you haven't heard a word from me?

Dang! Hope you're all okay but I suppose you're getting used to my being MIA!

So, this is totally random but I was thinking about it the past few days ...

I gave up Coke last summer and switched to Diet. I figured it would help me become healthier and it did assist me in losing a few pounds. I always hated when people said that they liked Diet Coke - you like it? Really? That stuff that has absolutely NO taste at all, whatsoever. And who the heck orders the cheeseburger meal with a diet coke ... freaks!

I became a freak.

Yup, I started liking diet coke and would actually go as far as saying that I craved one.

Well, then, see, I started hearing that it wasn't good for you and perhaps even worse than its regular counterpart. Apparently, the elements in it are so bad it could break down rust, imagine what it's doing to your body - people would say.

Whatever, I don't care about that. Bring it, my body needs to be cleansed of rust anyway. But they'd also add ...

It makes you want sugars because of the lack of said product in it.

No way. I drank away, not believing what people said.

But then, in the midst of my getting healthy in all aspects of life journey, I started wanting, needing candy, chocolate, cake, ice cream - whatever had sugar in it. Hell, I'd eat raw sugar straight from the plant if I knew where to find it.

Then. It happened. My car drove itself to McDonald's drive through for that sugary syrupy goodness. My mouth opened, I couldn't control it, and it requested a medium oh-so-yummy coke (read: no diet!). My lips and tongue even said "light ice" as to maximize the amount of forbidden liquid.

It was good. So good. It was like a reunion.

But it's over. I gave in and I can't do it again. But that one time ... it was right. I won't forget it.