Do you ever wonder why someone has found the need to tell you something? Why the information that has been given to them they feel they should bless upon you? Or, in this case, curse …
Because that is what I’m dealing with right now. No, not dealing … suffering.
And now I just want to scream and yell until my throat is raw and dry: “WHY DID YOU TELL ME?”
Some things surely are better left unsaid. This was at the top of that list.
I love this man, don’t get me wrong, but my mind has recorded this word and it plays it over and over. If I’m walking down the stairs, closing a door, driving to work. In the middle of singing my favorite song. When I kiss him …
Someone asked him if I was his “project”
Upon hearing, it took a few moments to realize I stopped breathing.
He told me something I didn’t need to know. I didn’t want to know. It is something I want no part of and I wish it could get ripped right out of my mind. That pain would have nothing on how it felt taking in those words. That word. One word. Project.
Project? Really? What does that even mean?
Am I some sort of assignment? Are you going to put me on display when you are finished? What happened to loving me? What did you give this person that made this question possible to ever be asked? What did you say? How did you respond?
Why do I know?
About Me
- RJTrue
- Just a girl trying to figure out what the heck she's gotta do ... Three years ago I quit my teaching job in Chicago, and on faith, hope and a lack of security, I moved to Nashville. I'm working on making it the best decision of my life. So far, so good.
3 comments:
I don't know what some people are thinking. Or even if they are thinking at all when they "share" stuff like that.
My high school boyfriend did something like that to me. He and his two best friends had crushes on me and then one of his friends had said he couldn't understand why they were fighting over me cuz I wasn't even that good looking. An innocent enough statement between friends. But why my boyfriend decided to "share" that comment with me I will never know. To intentionally hurt me? To knock me back down a couple of steps? Did he think my ego needed it? I just never figured it out. But is definitely was not helpful.
I'm sorry you have to think about it in the back (or front) of your mind now. Not helpful.
Maybe the boy was just trying to figure out what the person meant by it too so he brought it up to you. Or maybe it gave him some kind of power play or something. I don't know.
I hope you find peace with it. It really isn't about you. Ya know?
RJ, I'm so sorry that you are hurting, sad, and suffering.
Here's the thing: there's no forgetting what was said. It's already out there. I know it's like such a betrayal. What's a girl to do with all the information? You've got to do a little soul searching to figure it out. Here's a hug! I'm thinking about you!
I miss you, too.
I've been meaning to comment about this. It's awful how one hurtful word or phrase can stay with you forever. Chuck said something to me in an argument once that, even four years later, still affects me. (BTW, Chuck ended up marrying the girl he cheated on me with. They got divorced like, a year later and now he's living with his parents.)
Anyway, I don't know what else to say except that it sucks and I'm so sorry.
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